Eamon Ryan Chosen To Officially Switch Off Christmas Lights In Dublin
November 16, 2022 – BREAKING NEWS,
BROUGHT FORWARD from its usual slot in early January to November, Dublin City Council has confirmed the honour of switching off the Christmas lights has been bestowed upon Green Party leader Eamon Ryan.
“They’ve only been on a few days but we’ve got to mindful not to waste any electricity that could otherwise be used by a data centre,” explained one council official, having to restrain Eamon Ryan such was his excitement at being responsible for unplugging everything.
With the threat of looming blackouts, it’s never been more important to adopt a conscientious approach to energy and heat consumption, something the council said made Minister Ryan an obvious choice for the job.
“We just thought getting Eamon to switch off all the Christmas lights adorning the city would cheer him up a bit, make him forget about the fact he’s had to admit his target of Ireland having 1 million electric cars by 2030 was ridiculous,” added the official.
“Oh and the fact the home retrofitting scheme was taken up by 89 homes out of a target of 65,000 for this year”.
After switching off the lights, Minister Ryan is expected to go door to door telling children that Santa isn’t real in a bid to cut down on the carbon emissions caused each year by sending needless lists to Santa in the post.