A bit of Satirical News, in these Dark, Dreary Times? Well we Hope, it is, Fake News?

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Smithy

Lisa Smith To Turn On Dundalk Christmas Lights

Paul McRingo

Louth County Council have confirmed that local ISIS bride Lisa Smith has been booked to turn on the Christmas lights in Dundalk this evening.

Smith, a former soldier in the Irish defence forces, was sentenced in July to 15 months in prison for membership of the so-called Islamic State and is serving her sentence in Limerick Prison. Louth County Council have been granted permission to bus Smith up to Dundalk to turn on the Christmas lights as long as they drive her straight back down to Limerick again.

The move is proving to be highly controversial with many local people up in arms. We asked Dundalk councillor Barney Fitzmaurice how on earth they came to the conclusion that Lisa Smith would be a suitable candidate to turn on the Christmas lights this year.

“She’s from Dundalk and she’s famous.” he told us. “That’s good enough for us. At the end of the day it was either her or The Corrs for the 27th year in a row and frankly at this stage we’re sick to death of them.”

Nuala O’Reagan of the Dundalk Chamber of Commerce said the decision to ask Lisa Smith to turn on the lights is a disgrace, adding that there are far more deserving people in the town. Councillor Fitzmaurice however said their options are limited.

“We don’t have many celebrities in Dundalk. It could be worse you know. Steve Staunton rings every year asking when it’s going to be his turn and I can only keep putting him off for so long.”

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