I would take the attack again tenfold instead of going through the trial’ – sexual assault survivor Sarah Grace hits out at justice system

 8th March 2022

A sexual assault survivor has said she would rather suffer the attack again, than go through the Irish courts system for justice.

Last March, Ibrahim Elghynaoui (28), was jailed for 10 years for sexually assaulting Sarah Grace in her Dublin apartment in July 2019.

Following his sentencing last year, Ms Grace went public about the attack as she sought to speak with the justice minister Helen McEntee and the office of the Director of Public Prosecutions to raise concerns about the way victims are treated in the courts.

Ms Grace works as a solicitor, and she said even with her legal experience she was traumatised by the trial.

“I would take the attack again tenfold instead of going through the trial,” she told RTÉ’s Today with Claire Byrne programme.

“I was lost, there was not transparency, nothing is explained to you, things keep changing, you have no idea what you’re walking into.”

Ms Grace said one of the hardest things was that she was forced to sit beside her attacker during the trial.

“You are in touching distance of each other. There is no screen between you, there is no glass, they sit next to you… The two guards that sit with the person are behind them.”

She added that she felt her neck was very exposed and this was particularly hard for her because she was strangled during the 2019 assault.

While Ms Grace said she understood that the defence lawyers were doing their job, she also found some of their techniques “disgraceful”.

“The key thing is stay calm, do not get thrown by these tactics, get your point across, look at the jury because they are the ones you need to convince; not the barristers, not the judge.”

She has taken what she learned from the attack, the trial and the healing process and put into a new book called Ash + Salt: Sexual Assault – From Survival to Empowerment.

“The book is very much designed as a survival guide for survivors. I follow my story, but I divide it into topics and at the end of each chapter, there’s a checklist for survivors to know what to do.

“It follows the healing journey from beginning to end. So, from the assault all the way through the police investigation, the medical examination you have to go through and then PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder), extreme emotions like anger and then we move onto the trial.”

Ms Grace has called the book Ash + Salt because she said a serious assault, like the one she suffered, acts like a volcano that “blasts a hole through all aspects of your life”.

However, she said volcanic ash is the most fertile on earth and things can “grow and flourish from those ashes if you put the work in”.

Salt on the other hand is highly corrosive and she said it’s important for survivors to eliminate toxic elements from their lives which can get in the way of healing.

Ms Grace said it is very important that victims do everything they can after an attack to preserve physical evidence, so police can build a strong case against their attacker.

“Do not shower, I understand the want to get that creature off you, but do not shower, do not brush your teeth, do not touch anything on your body or on the crime scene,” she said.

“That is critical if there is going to be a trial, but it is also critical for the police investigation.

“It is crucial, not just for the investigation, but it is also crucial for yourself that you feel believed. That you have something to back up what you’re saying.”

Ms Grace said the book also contains chapters with the victim’s family and friends in mind.

She explained that after her attack she did not want to be touched and it was difficult for her to communicate her feelings with her family who are “very affectionate”.

She said the most important thing that people can do is to let the survivor know they are supporting them.

“The best thing you can do is reach out and speak to the survivor and tell them that you’re there,” she said.

“I understand the fear of saying something wrong or putting your foot in it, but no matter what you say what will come out of that conversation is they are in your thoughts, you’re worried about them, and you want to be them with them.

“Sexual violence is one of the most isolating things you can go through… I really focus on putting your comfort aside and making that effort because I can promise you that that effort, the survivor is going through one hundred times that every day.”

Since going public about her attack last year, Ms Grace said she has spoken to many other survivors and now her life is dedicated to support women who have been through similar traumas.

She said her own life she is now happier than ever.

“I’ve never been happier … I was very happy before but now I’m very appreciative to be alive – I don’t take that for granted – and as a result I do things that I might not have done in my previous life,” she said.

“It took a near encounter with death to do that and most importantly to me, I know I’m helping people.”