Rumours floating around all week, before the FF Ard Fheis is that there is a major problem with Nookie within the party. It is alleged that over 15 wives of politicians who cannot be named for legal reasons have complained to Micheal Martin of strange phone numbers found in their husbans’ boxer shorts and jackets (while they are doing the laundry). One wife reports how she found a whip, a blown up doll, and a book on various positions in her husbands overnight bag. She checked the bag while he was asleep. It is believed that Martin the Cork Catholic has appointed Timmy Dooley as the FF marriage counsellor. Timmy is renowned for one woman no cry; two women, you are never home dry. Timmy will take no nonsense and he has sent out emails that he has installed a confessional box in FF HQ in Mount Street and any wayward TD’s can come and talk to him in total privacy; they can air their sins and be totally forgiven. The situation could get worse now with the influx of thousands Ukrainian beauties arriving in Ireland. Erections will rise high oh sorry election will rise high!!!

Posted by Fred Bassett