‘PETRIFIED’ | 

Survivor Ciara Mangan ‘tormented’ by rape songs after co-worker attacked her

“It was common knowledge among everybody that the rape had occurred. And then the tormenting began. The tormenting was singing rape songs and rape comments for a very long time, yeah.”

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Mayo woman Ciara Mangan has said she is “lucky to be alive” as she spoke after her rapist Shane Noonan was handed a seven-year prison sentence yesterday.

Noonan raped Ciara at a house party in 2013 when she was just 18 and as she bravely waived her right to anonymity so he could be named.

She spoke this morning of her relief at the sentence and her wish to now live “a happy life. I’ve not been so happy for 10 years”.

Noonan (28) of Castlehilll Park, Turlough Road, Castlebar, Co Mayo, pleaded guilty to rape of Ms Mangan at an address in Castlebar, Co Mayo, on May 11, 2013.

Ms Mangan described herself as a “normal 18-year-old” before the attack, which she said “robbed me of my 20s”.

“I enjoyed going out with my friends like to the cinema, lunch, dinner, etc. I did extracurricular activities like the fiddle and lifesaving [courses]. And I had a part-time job as well. So I was happy to be making a bit of money.

“I was invited to go to a party that I didn’t really want to go to but I was being pressured a little bit to go.

“I arrived to the party and within an hour of arriving at the party, I was falling asleep basically, my hearing was muffled, my vision was blurry. I couldn’t stand without leaning onto the countertop. And I was just trying my best not to fall asleep. I just couldn’t stay awake really,” Ciara told RTÉ’s Morning Ireland.

“So after that, Shane Noonan made a beeline over for me from across the room and demanded that we go upstairs. I said no. And he was kind of angry. So I’m scared.

“He took me into the bathroom and locked the door and demanded that I get on the floor. And I began falling asleep. And I woke up to the force of him raping me.”

Ms Mangan said she couldn’t fight Noonan off as she had “no energy, no strength”.

“I just could not defend myself at all. Impossible.”

She said she was “scared, confused, petrified, and sore” when she woke up, adding: “I just wanted to sleep. I couldn’t stay awake.”

“I woke up in another room in the house profusely vomiting which gave me great relief because I was so ill. But I was in the house alone because everybody had gone to a nightclub. I was dropped home and I went to work the next day.

“I knew I was raped,” Ciara said.

Ms Mangan then said that everybody at her and Mr Noonan’s place of work knew she was raped.

She was then subjected to “rape songs” and taunts from others.

“It was common knowledge among everybody that the rape had occurred. And then the tormenting began. The tormenting was singing rape songs and rape comments for a very long time, yeah.

“I didn’t tell anyone. For 10 months. My sister was due to start working in the workplace. And I couldn’t allow her to go into that unhealthy environment. So I told my parents.

“My mom collapsed on the floor in shock and sadness, screaming for my dad to help and it was reported to the Gardaí then over the phone,” Ciara said.

Despite reporting the crime, Ciara said she was not yet “ready to go to court and enter the justice system”.

“I was sitting my Leaving Cert two months after. I was depressed, suicidal, anxious, self-counselling myself. Trying to stay alive, honestly, and trying to just sit my Leaving Cert and then I will deal with everything after that.

“It was really hard. It was awful. I mean, the Leaving Cert Is hard enough, but nothing compares to what I had to go through while I tried to sit it.”

Ciara still managed to pass and progress to the University of Limerick. It was a chance find of a letter she had penned to Noonan but never intended to send which sparked her will to obtain justice.

“So I was cleaning out my room, and I came across a letter in my drawer. It was only for therapeutic reasons. It was a letter that I wrote to Shane Noonan but never with the intention of sending it – it was a therapeutic practice for me. And I just ran downstairs and I just said to my mom, ‘I’m ready’.

“I was obviously scared and anxious. Petrified, really, but I just felt like I have to do this, it has to be done. I just needed justice. I just did,” Ciara said.

Ciara said she made a “screeching sound, as if something left my body” when the verdict was read out.

“It was vindication. I feel like he got the sentence he really deserved.

“He took away my 20s, he destroyed my 20s, my life will always have its challenges because of this rape. And he had no right to do that.

“I’ve come so far really. I’m lucky just to be alive. Honestly, my mental health was absolutely shattered. And I won’t ever fully recover. But I will learn to live with it. I will. I have such great support. It had devastating effects on not only my life but my family’s life as well. It’s like we literally mourned you know, it’s a devastation.

“My life that was taken from me really. Suffering, pain. Just torment really and abuse. The rape made me feel worthless. The way he left me on the floor. I felt like a pile of rubbish and it’s such a disregard for someone else.

“I am someone’s daughter. I’m someone’s sister, and to just dump somebody after a brutal rape like that. It’s just horrendous.

“I have so much respect for the other victims of sexual violence. That waive their anonymity. I feel like we’re not just a victim without a name. We’re human beings and and I felt like if I came forward with and waived my right to anonymity, I can give someone out there the courage that maybe they need as well. And just to show that, like justice is possible, and I’m still here,” Ciara said.

Ciara now hopes she learns to live with what happened her and that it “will take up less space in my mind”.

“And that I can go on to help other people as well who have similar problems. Like I walked around Castlebar for the first time in 10 years on my own last week, because he was in prison and I want to move back home. I want to move back to Ireland. Yeah, maybe not Castlebar, but moving home at some stage.

“Just to live a happy life. I have not been so happy, you know, for 10 years. And it’s just done now, I can just move on you know, and I don’t have anything hanging over me now”.

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