Is so disturbing to read in the Sunday Independent today that an older woman in a nursing home in 2008 told her family. Thanks for the Comment, Geraldine, sadly so True.

The one place where vulnerable people should be safe… After all, nursing homes have a vested interest in keeping their residents alive and well. This is why a friend of mine put her mother in a nursing home; she had been caring for her mother at home, and had Enduring Power of Attorney for the mother, but the old woman’s estranged son was lurking around looking for his inheritance, and both women were afraid of him. He had caused the old woman untold misery, fighting her for “his” share of his father’s estate when the old man died. So the old woman, who had dementia at this stage, went into a lovely nursing home while her daughter resumed her career while keeping in touch with her mother. The only problem was, the nursing home wasn’t safe because the toxic brother charmed the staff there and they allowed him to visit his mother. When her daughter found out, she told the nurse-manager, who didn’t believe her – said the son was a lovely guy… The old woman died. Her daughter believes she spent her last months in fear as she was hardly able to talk, and this monster of a son was intimidating her with his presence. And he’s still intimidating his sister (now it’s the mother’s money he’s after). And this story is very common – you’d be surprised how common it is, but people don’t like to talk about it for various reasons (legal, social shaming, “family is family”, etc).