I used to drive all over the country for work and knew all the roads. It was reasonably safe – the odd dangerous driver. Now it’s extremely dangerous with all the coked-up, uninsured foreigners and our own native idiots, staring at their phones or swiping the screens on their dashboards. The RSA and Gardai would have us believe speed is the reason for all the accidents, but any experienced driver will tell you the real reasons: 1. Screens on dashboards (new cars are all fitted with these – you need to look down to put on the wipers, lights and radio!); 2. Phones (they should be kept in the boot!); 3. Passengers causing a distraction (especially kids with behavioural issues – leave them with a babysitter until they’ve learned how to behave in a dangerous setting such as a car); 4. Uninsured drivers; 5. Foreign drivers who are clearly not trained to Irish / UK standards (also they’re used to driving on the other side of the road, though that’s not as big a factor as some people think; I adapted to driving on the right within minutes when I had to drive in Spain, in a stick-shift VW Polo); 6. Potholes (stop building new roads – fix the existing roads!); 7. Motorways (wide, straight roads encourage drivers to drift off to sleep apparently…); 8. Automatic cars with cruise control (a recipe for driver distraction); 9. Gadgets in cars (including inbuilt WiFi!); 10. Drugs (especially cocaine which turns people into assholes); 11. Speed cameras (people jam on the brakes when they see them).

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